Not Forever.
Let me share with you a phrase that has been saving my life this summer. It comes from one of my favorite people on the Interwebs, Melissa Hammerle, who’s the military spouse, autism advocate, and the most relatable Mom ever over at @melissainchaos on Instagram. I first got connected with Melissa and her amazing family when I came across her daughter, Paisley Kate (PK), who runs her own business (Heart & Harper) supporting autism awareness and kindness. Listen, when I come across a Gen Alpha kid who is running her own company that gives to amazing causes all in the name of making the world a kinder place for her brother Parker who has autism, I will cheer that kid on with all my might. Which I absolutely try to do for PK and her mission over at Heart & Harper. Currently, all of her proceeds are going to support the ongoing recovery from the flooding on July 4th in Central Texas.
Repeat After Me.
So, the phrase that has saved my life this summer came from a story that Melissa shared at some point in the last couple of years. I tried very hard to find the original post on Instagram to link but honestly, it’s been a heck of a 2 weeks and I just didn’t have the bandwidth so here we are. She shared about how one of her kiddos was having a moment as we all do and said, “well, Mom, this is not forever” and those two words were exactly what gave them perspective in that moment. But they also stuck with her, leading her to share them with all of us online and I for one am immensely grateful. Paisley Kate made a couple of bracelets and I’ve since bought several of them for friends and also for me because gosh do I ever need that reminder.
Bracelet made by PK over at Heart & Harper
This week was our son’s final basketball game for his summer league and while his team was warming up, I had a few minutes to reflect. Not Forever isn’t just about taking a deep breath to remind myself not to lose my crap with my kids and husband. It’s not just about reminding myself that I won’t always feel so exhausted as we near the end of yet another season and I just want to cry because my mental load is so heavy. It is about those things and so much more. But this week I also found myself remembering that the idea of “Not Forever” is also about savoring the moments like the basketball game. There was a time in our life where I was not sure we’d EVER get to this point where our kiddo could play with other kids, work together, and be a team. There were days where it was a struggle to get out of the freaking house, let’s just call it what it is, okay?! The hard times are not forever and the perspective they give me now is one of gratitude. You see, the season we’ve had this summer is one of such progress. He still loves to give me and my husband hugs in the morning. We’ve had successful, FUN experiences at camps, which is also a first! There are days where he and his sister actually get along…most of the time. He comes running off the court to high five us and hug us, all in front of his friends. (We have friends who are a few steps ahead of us in parenting and through them, I’ve learned that these pieces of him being a growing little boy aren’t forever either.) This is also the first summer where he’s excited about school. And I’m not naive enough to think that we’re past all the hard stuff because I know for a fact we are not. But this summer was such a strong reminder to me that the good AND the hard seasons are Not Forever.
In It For The Long Haul.
Today’s the first of August and it’s wild to me how fast summer has gone. Some days have been longer than others. I’m also not one of the Moms who preach that you only have 18 summers with your kids…because that’s not my goal. I want to pour everything we’ve got into building strong kids with healthy relationships NOW so that my husband and I are enjoying time with them long into their adult life. I’m lucky enough to have memories of time spent with my parents and family throughout college, my early-mid 20s while teaching, and even now, getting to go back and visit with my kids. I’d like to think that by embracing the idea of “Not Forever”, it’s helped me be a calmer, more present Mom, especially these last few months. Have I had my unhinged Mom moments? Of course, and it’s usually been before I’ve had my first full cup of coffee, ha! All kidding aside, whatever season of life you find yourself in, I hope these two words help you as much as they helped me (and on some days definitely saved my sanity). The hard, the good, the sobbing, the joyful - it’s Not Forever. We can breathe and move through the hard while also slowing down to savor the good and the joyful.
The fighting is Not Forever. And here’s proof!
Love you, mean it, friends.