When I am struggling the most and feel like I am literally drowning in responsibility, tasks, the weight of leadership, advocating, navigating grief, and the list can go on - this statement grounds me so much. It’s the reminder that no matter what, the tide always comes in. There is still order to be found in this life, as disordered as it may feel at times.

My Grandpa enjoyed ice cream - he loved it in fact! He worked everyday outside in his workshop and around the acres that he lived on until he died in 2018 and almost every night, he’d have a bowl of Neapolitan ice cream.

The holidays are here, which means joy, twinkle lights, matching pajamas…and also sensory overload, packed suitcases, delayed flights, Great Aunt Judy asking why your child still won’t eat her famous casserole, and your stress levels sitting somewhere near the North Pole. It’s just really magical, isn’t?! Traveling with neurodiverse kids, whether by road or by plane, isn’t just about packing the right snacks or entertainment. It’s about planning for regulation: your child’s and yours. Because your energy sets the tone. And if your nervous system is fried, well, your child will feel it.

Music has the power to change the mood in a room with the drop of a note. It can take you from feeling glum to joyful to reflective to just plain happy. Music is almost always one of the things that is saving my life…along with coffee, of course. 

However, for me, that way of celebrating the holidays does not necessarily bring me joy. In fact, as I have gotten older with more work responsibilities, running a part time business, and the kids are getting a bit older (I.e. the Older one wants to be a YouTuber for Halloween which requires ZERO costume prep for me so rock on, my dude), it feels like there’s more pressure on Moms to make the holiday magic even MORE. And friends, I for one, am just not buying that message anymore.

One of the points that stuck with me the most was how important collective joy is essential to our wellness. In a society and nation that feels more and more divided, I couldn’t agree more. So, as we headed into the fall season, I decided to really lean into cultivating experiences full of collective joy. 

And because you know I always keep it really, really real over here, there are some days where finding the glimmers are super hard. Yesterday was one of them. It was the suckiest of days. And since I’m still working on not “gratituding” everything, I know it’s okay to say that out loud. Some days are just sucky and really hard. On those days I try to be extra gentle with myself and my family because I think we all need it. And on those days when I can’t find glimmers…

Before I step foot onto my child’s campus, I remind myself of one of my favorite sayings: “Do no harm. Take no bull.” The truth of these words grounds me and reminds me of a few things. It’s easy for parents and schools to feel like they’re on opposite sides of the table. But here’s the truth: most educators want to help—they’re just bound by systems, time, and resources.

When Taylor Swift said, “You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive…”, I literally stopped what I was doing — not because of the words themselves, but because the sentiment hits home for anyone who's ever felt stretched thin. Especially moms.

This week was our son’s final basketball game for his summer league and while his team was warming up, I had a few minutes to reflect. Not Forever isn’t just about taking a deep breath to remind myself not to lose my crap with my kids and husband. It’s not just about reminding myself that I won’t always feel so exhausted as we near the end of yet another season and I just want to cry because my mental load is so heavy. It is about those things and so much more. But this week I also found myself remembering that the idea of “Not Forever” is also about savoring the moments like the basketball game.

I used to be sharp. Quick thinking AND quick witted. On top of my calendar, my keys, and my train of thought. Now? There are days where a coherent train of thought feels like a distant memory, I have to leave a room only to walk back into it to remember what I was initially going to get, and I once found my phone in the fridge. 

Welcome to Mom Brain—where the mental load is high, the sleep is low (even after a decade in), and the executive functioning is... under review.

“Young, scrappy, and hungry, just like my country” - Alexander sings this as he is first meeting Aaron Burr, the Marquis de Lafayette, and several other of the main characters. He’s singing about not throwing away his shot at life and at making a difference. As an immigrant and young man with practically nothing to his name, he knew he had to be young, scrappy, and hungry to make it. And he did. As of today, America is 249 years old. Compared to other countries, we are a toddler or at best, a moody teenager right now. I think in order to see change that benefits all people, we’ve got to get a little more scrappy and hungry. 

For me, coffee shops are special places where deep conversations can be had, work can get done, relaxing with an amazing book can happen, and a little refresh for your soul can be found. Whatever type of “Coffee Drink Mom” (or person!) you are, take time this next week to slow down and find your own version of Casa Costa. I promise, it’s worth it.

Summer for any type of family brings a different schedule but not always a different change of pace. Add in a hefty scoop of neurodiversity and you quickly learn that summer is going to look different for your family. And please keep in mind, friends, around here different is NOT bad. Different is just that - different.

Let’s be real: the idea of self-care when you’re deep in the trenches of parenting, working caregiving and trying to keep everyone alive (including yourself) feels… Laughable.

I feel like for the last two weeks specifically, so much of the conversations at work and at home have been focused on what’s going wrong, what we don’t like, what negative things need to change. And there’s a time and a place for that to help with identifying challenges and what improvements can be made. I certainly understand that! Reading and then really sitting with the idea of being more vocal about what we are for, what we can imagine the outcomes to be, and what behaviors (hello, parenting!) we are wanting to see vs. what we’re currently struggling with changing.

Well, we’re a week into summer break here in Central Texas and is anyone else ready for school to be back on Monday?! I know FOR SURE the teachers are not (and truthfully, neither am I because those early mornings were getting real rough!). For our family, camps of any kind weren’t accessible until next week and even with calling in the reinforcements of out of state grandparents, this week has been a special kind of chaos. Every summer, I just forgot how tough this transition from school to summer is!

But when it’s literally your job, you (me) get really, really comfortable not just talking about elephants in rooms, but advocating for help. Advocating for change at a systemic level. And most days, just plain advocating. And while I realize this really is a blog about motherhood, working, the chaos that comes with life, and that life changing cup of morning coffee, I wouldn’t be true to who I am, how I’m wired, and what I believe part of my purpose in this life is - hoping for and actually working towards true change with people and in systems - if I didn’t also write about these things. So let’s talk about hope and the elephant in the room.