What We Can Learn From Veterans.
It’s Veterans’ Day today and I like to say that I’m lucky to have several veterans in our family. My grandfathers on both sides of my family served, my brother, and a few others in our extended family are still serving. As I was thinking the last few days leading up to today, I was hesitant to actually share this post because I think most veterans are a lot like my brother. He’s the quiet steadfast presence in our family and he hates attention. He’s proud to have served, but doesn’t like to talk about it. He’s humble (to a fault at times, in my opinion) at how well he served his country and the sacrifices he made. My Grandpa K was the proudest Marine I had ever met but he never was “in your face” about his service. He almost always wore his USMC hat though and instilled in his grandchildren that we always stand for the National Anthem with our hands over our hearts. He loved his family out loud with a steadfast faithfulness, much like how he served as a Marine. When I take a moment to reflect on both my brother and my Grandpa, I can see three distinct life lessons that I’ve learned from them. I’ve intentionally kept their personal stories out of this post because I respect and love them too much to not. And I also know the lessons I’ve learned from them are important enough to share here!
Quiet Consistency is Louder than Flashy Trends.
My Grandpa enjoyed ice cream - he loved it in fact! He worked everyday outside in his workshop and around the acres that he lived on until he died in 2018 and almost every night, he’d have a bowl of Neapolitan ice cream. I remember asking him during one summer visit as a teenager, “Grandpa, don’t you want to try something new?” His answer has stuck with me. “Nope. This is what I enjoy and what I like.” Now, he did try other flavors and had some he really liked as well, but 95% of the time, he would choose that vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry combo. He was consistent in his work and passed that work ethic down to several generations. While he was a great worker, I don’t know that he ever won any awards, but he knew the importance of showing up and giving your best. Grandpa knew the value of consistency and the discipline it takes to prioritize that in your life. Whether it was drilled into him at bootcamp or if that was just how he was designed, he set an amazing example for all of us about how important quiet consistency is.
The Power of Presence.
My brother is undoubtedly one of my favorite people on the planet and not just because he’s my older brother. Growing up and living in Florida, we spent many Sunday afternoons after church driving over to the beach for him to go surfing and me to play at the beach. There’s a large age gap between us but he never let that get in the way of us spending time together. He’d show up to volleyball games and pick me up from school to go to the mall and get an Auntie Anne’s pretzel (the 90s were such a great time to grow up!). When he went into the Army, that of course changed. I’m lucky that his wife is amazing and truly like another sister to me. She stepped right in and helped fill the gaps that Kyle was being deployed or training left. Now that we’re both solidly in our “middle age” years, our relationship has shifted. We text more than call and we see each other a couple of times a year. One of my favorite things we do is duck out for coffee, where he finds the most local and non-chain places to go. We don’t rush. There’s no agenda. We just sit, talk, and enjoy good coffee. He’s a deeply private person and his story is his own. What I’ve learned though is that he is a master at giving you his full attention in those conversations. It’s a skill I’m still learning.
Pick Your Battles.
This is another lesson from my brother. I was having a particularly challenging parenting season and called him to vent and honestly I needed him to just tell me what to do. He listened and heard me out and then succinctly said, “You are picking too many battles. Pick one.” And that was the whole plot. Had I heard that before? Of course I had! But there was something about that moment with him that crystallized it for me. What’s the most important behavior you’re needing to see changed? Pick that. What’s the most important obstacle to clear out of the way of progress forward? Attack that. For someone like me, where it feels like my brain always has about 174 tabs open, this strategy has been wildly helpful in parenting, leading teams at work, and running a business.
Ripple Effect.
My life would not be the same without the influence of my Grandpa and my brother. Their lives would not be the same without their military service and the experiences (both good and hard) that they have because they chose to serve. To say I am grateful is an understatement.
Take time today to thank a Veteran and think about how their lives of service have shaped others, maybe even yours. We live in a free country today because of the brave.
Love you, mean it, friends.
