Opting For Less: The Holiday Version
Here’s my disclaimer before we even get started: holidays can be celebrated many different ways and if you’ve found something that works for you, you do you, boo. If you’re like me where the holidays can get overwhelming really quickly, then welcome and read on, boo!
How many Mondays until Christmas?
Three weeks ago I walked into Costco, bracing myself for the onslaught of what I knew would be the explosion of Halloween and fall decorations. I remember taking a deep breath and being thankful that this was a solo quick trip on a lunch break while the kids were at school…because it was a lot. There were the blowup yard decorations (of course inflated so you can actually see what they look like), wreaths as big as my car, and ceramic pumpkins the size of our daughter. Hand to the heavens, the honest truth on that last one. I feel like we just get the kids back to school and turn around BAM - holiday season is in full force. For some Moms, this is their prime time to shine (for example, My Very First Texas Friend) and they love going what they describe as “all out” for each and every holiday. I am talking themed tablecloths, baskets, goodies, matching outfits, etc. Why? Because it is what brings her true joy and I am not ever going to criticize that! I will gladly and authentically gush how beautiful that table is and how much her girls must love waking up to that magic!
This feels like yesterday! Sis’ first Halloween!
However, for me, that way of celebrating the holidays does not necessarily bring me joy. In fact, as I have gotten older with more work responsibilities, running a part time business, and the kids are getting a bit older (I.e. the Older one wants to be a YouTuber for Halloween which requires ZERO costume prep for me so rock on, my dude), it feels like there’s more pressure on Moms to make the holiday magic even MORE. And friends, I for one, am just not buying that message anymore. Hear me out. I grew up in a solidly middle class family with both parents working full time jobs in education. We never were without yet I was told no on a regular basis about getting stuff (which I’m actually thankful for!) and the 90s were a different time all together…the only real comparison you had was with the kids you went to school with. Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook didn’t exist (thank HEAVENS). We also didn’t really celebrate Halloween (post for another week) but I distinctly remember my Mom making the Thanksgiving table beautiful and a little treat of some kind at everyone’s placemat. Christmas was not this wild season of events, just a handful as in literally 4 that I can remember. The first was usually Christmas Eve Candlelight service at the church we attended. We celebrated Christmas Eve at our house with my Dad’s family when we were in Florida and we’d stay up late playing games with the cousins. Christmas Day started with my Dad reading the Christmas Story, a reasonable amount of presents, and then a big Christmas breakfast with everyone’s favorite dish. That night was Christmas dinner either at our house or my aunt’s. And that was it. There was a simple beauty to the season because, for me, it wasn’t crammed full of stuff to do…and now that we’re parents, we’re making decisions on how to best celebrate the holidays with our kids.
The Dad and The Swiftie Mom last Halloween.
How to make the holiday season less stressful
We’ve tried it both ways: cramming in a BUNCH of events from the middle of October until December 26th…and we all crashed and were cranky and it was actually kind of awful. So, after maybe two holiday seasons like that, Husband and I talked and we decided that we are Opting for Less. Here’s that looks like for our family:
Simple Halloween costumes with each kid having about a $25 budget when needed. There have been several Halloweens where we busted out the dress up box and said, “go crazy, kids!” And we had just as good of a time as when we bought costumes.
Travel for one holiday. Both my husband and I love to travel and we hope our kids one day love it as well. We’ve also learned that it’s hard on all 4 of us to travel for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. So, when at all possible, we pick one. And some years, we are at home for both!
We pick one special event for Christmas. Sometimes it’s the Trail of Lights in Austin, sometimes it’s a special show or movie…sometimes it’s multiple at home movie nights with special snacks. By this time of the school year, our kids are getting so, SO tired because there’s also a ton of events and different schedule days they’re navigating ON TOP of whatever we add as their parents.
Let’s talk presents. Again, for our family, this is the rhythm we’ve settled into, for the most part. Each kid gets stockings filled and a special present from Santa (now that is some magic I will curate for as long as possible!! Mostly because it brings me joy to see the wonder on their (not so) little faces on Christmas morning. Husband and I take turns taking the kids shopping for a small gift for him and I and then we also have the kiddo we’re shopping with to buy for the sibling. Basically, we all open 4 presents on Christmas morning, not including what the extended family has sent.
I’ve learned to ask the question and answer it honestly: Is this something I really want to add to the calendar for me/us? And if it’s not a hell yes, then I politely decline and say “thank you so much for the invite, we need to pass this time”.
Little Bitties all ready for Santa.
I sometimes struggle with whether or not we’re giving our kids “enough” of the holiday magic, but I keep going back to the soundtrack that I’ve written for my brain during this season: “I’d rather be present and calm with my kids/family than busy and stressed to celebrate holidays.” And the first thing to increase my stress is looking at our calendar(s) and seeing 5978 things to do over the span of 8 weeks. By opting into less, we’re opting into more peace, more calm, and more joy. Because we’re still making memories, we’re just doing it in a way that works better for our unique family.
Love you, mean it, friends.